We all know how winter can wreak havoc on every aspect of our lives. After all, it’s such a long season for much of North America, and in regions it can last up to six months.
And the results aren’t always pretty—soggy boots and stockings, muddy footprints in the doorway, high heat bills and a general longing for sunlight can make the world look pretty ugly. The sudden urge to be on a beach somewhere, drinking mojitos is one you have often. And you feel a twinge of jealousy every time someone you know travels anywhere warm. The list goes on and on.
But humans aren’t the only ones who suffer through the long, dark months of winter. Cars probably take the worst winter beating, simply because they must trudge through our outside world. Even worse, when ice and snow creep into the picture, winter driving can take a dangerous turn. To put a fun (or sarcastic) spin on it, here are six thoughts you’ve had when you hit a patch of ice and see your life flash before your eyes:
1. Why do I live here?
If you’ve ever wondered why on Earth you live in a climate with more than two distinct seasons, please know that you are not alone. “Why do I live here again?” is actually an extremely valid question. So . . . why do you live there?
2. Can I blame this on someone else?
Again, a valid question. However, it’s hard to blame anyone but Mother Nature for what’s about to happen. Brace yourself, you own this.
3. Please don’t ruin this paint job.
You had your car painted Mambo Melon to match your go-to nail polish. We get it. Unfortunately, physics doesn’t care and neither will that pole you may or may not hit in one minute.
4. Is this really happening?
Yes, and you better snap out of it. One false move and you could end up in the ditch next to the Piggly Wiggly. Not cute, not cute at all.
5. Did I pay my insurance premium?
You’ve been making those low monthly payments on-time and in-full, but did you remember to mail it in this month? For your sake, I hope you did.
6. Am I wearing clean underwear?
Even if you are, you might not be if this car keeps sliding. Think happy thoughts and keep your bodily functions under control. Please?
Any one of these thoughts are likely to flash through your mind when you’re slowly sliding out of control toward an unknown fate. Fortunately, many slow-sliding episodes end peacefully with nothing but a torn-down ego and a good story to share at work. For more information on how to get yourself out of a car skid situation, check out Driver’s Ed Guru’s Car Skidding 101 page.
Hopefully your sliding episode will end quickly, and without any bodily harm—or unplanned bodily functions.